ive given this more this thought
in your OP you said " She's going to make a confession about or relationship and it's past + details quite soon and she's prepared to be DF'd"
so no one has accused her of anything at this stage--she hasnt had any elders nosing around--she hasnt been invited to a committee of 3 ?
So why doesnt she just keep quiet--and get on with married life. She can attend meetings if she wants to, and if she wants to pioneer again ( barf)--then she will find out then if she is in good standing--or not.